Ruby's Blog | Writing Your Own Vows

Hello Bride & Groom’s To Be!

I’m Ruby the Rochester Bride! As a newlywed of the Rochester area, I love sharing my knowledge of the wedding experience with newly engaged couples. This week I can’t wait to share with you some ideas for writing your own wedding vows!

{1} Inspiration: Before starting your wedding vows, read traditional vows that are generally practiced by your religion or culture. This will help guide you how you feel and what you want your vows to be. There is no right or wrong way to put your vows together, it’s all about what you want to promise to your fiance on the day of your wedding!

{2} Formatting: Think about how you would like your vows to come out when you are at the alter; will they be humorous, poetic or romantic? Make sure when picking a format that you and your fiancé fully understand what format you are going with before starting to write your vows. That way one of you isn’t writing the vows to be humorous while the other one write's the vows to be super romantic. As a couple, you should also decide if you want to write your vows together or separately.

{3}Note Taking: Writing your vows can be hard and can be difficult at first, so just start off small. Make little notes about your fiancé; what you like that they do, what you love about them, favorite memory, time you have spent together, what inspires you about your fiancé, etc.

{4} Promise: Vows are about making promises to each other, so make sure you have some promises in mind that you would like to put into your vows. There is no rule book on what promises you have to have in your vows, you could put something like “I promise to always be there for you” or “I promise to always give you a kiss goodbye."  Try to have two or more promises in your vows. 

{5} Cryptic Inside Jokes: Inside jokes or embarrassing moments are okay to include in your vows, however you are going to want to try to keep it to one or two. You're reading your vows out loud, and your family and friends aren’t going to know what you are talking about if your vows are too cryptic. You want to make sure everyone fully understand your vows, but it is okay to include a little thing that just your fiance will understand!

{6} First Draft and Practicing: Once you feel you have a good amount of information with your notes about your fiance, start piecing them all together. Shortly after starting to write, you will have your first draft of your wedding vows! Once you have finished your first draft, go over the vows many times and make edits. After you feel they are final, practice reading the vows out loud and try to memorize what you can. You want to be able to see your fiancé's face when they are hearing your vows for the first time. 

{7} The Length of The Vows: Your vows are going to be one of the most incredible items you share with one another, but there also should be a time limit on your vows. Ideal vows should be one or two minutes long, you don’t want to drag on or repeat yourself too much, and you can help avoid that by putting a time frame on how long you each want to speak. If you feel that you have written too much, a good idea would be to move some parts of them to a letter you plan to give your fiance before the ceremony, or to a toast during the reception.